“Cheerful Hobbit” Hair Removal Wax

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Item Type: Artifact

The original Cheerful Hobbit Hair Removal Wax removes hair by the roots, leaving skin hair-free and silky smooth for weeks. The all-natural wax melts with body heat and washes away in turpentine or denatured alcohol.

Simple and effective, Cheerful Hobbit Hair Removal Wax is perfect for feet, face, legs, bikini line, underarms, arms, chests, backs, ears, and all tails, prehensile and otherwise. Designed to remove hair even from the most difficult to reach places, it is best used at body or room temperature and comes with backing strips that are washable and reusable.

Cheerful Hobbit Hair Removal Wax shrink-wraps the hair to pull it straight out from the root; it can grab even the shortest, coarsest, and most stubborn growth that other waxes miss.

Cheerful Hobbit products are never tested on domestic animals or hobbits. Tested entirely on trolls and orcs.

Contents [hide]

   1 Key Ingredients
   2 Awards and Accolades
   3 Use
   4 Warnings

[edit] Key Ingredients

Rosin, beeswax, paraffin, mineral oil, apricot kernel oil, rose-flower oil, ManBearPig sebum, natural essential oils of bergamot, ginger, sandalwood, chamomile, and patchouli [edit] Awards and Accolades

As seen on Good Morning, Middle Earth; Herolympus In the Morning; and the Orcah Grintree Show.

Winner, Beerburgh Beauty, 2011 Best of Beauty Award

Winner, Today's Godvillewood Woman, 2010 Readers Choice

Winner, Tradeburg Times Magazine Style Guide, 2010 Editor's Choice [edit] Use Before treatment After treatment

For sensational, super smooth, fuzz-free results, follow the steps below:

   Cleanse the area to be waxed with Cheerful Hobbit Super Skin Cleanser (sold separately).
   Blot dry thoroughly.
   Coat area to be waxed with Cheerful Hobbit Talc-Free Powder (sold separately).
   Remove lid and warm Cheerful Hobbit Hair Removal Wax over a fire or dragon breath for 14-45 seconds or until wax is spreadable and has the consistency of thick honey.
   Using a Cheerful Hobbit Hair Removal Spatula (sold separately) apply a thin layer of wax to skin WITH direction of hair growth for longer hair, or AGAINST the direction of hair growth for shorter hair. TIP: When you apply the wax, layers should be about as thick as a banana peel.
   Place a Cheerful Hobbit Hair Removal Strip lengthwise with dark side up over the area wet with wax.
   Rub strip vigorously over wax, 3 or 4 times.
   Holding skin taut, pull Cheerful Hobbit Hair Removal Strip quickly and firmly in opposite direction of hair growth.
   Repeat as necessary.
   Once you have finished, apply Cheerful Hobbit Super Skin Cleanser (sold separately) to disinfect and help prevent ingrown hairs, and follow with Cheerful Hobbit Post-Epilation Oil (sold separately) to soothe skin and remove any residue. 

[edit] Warnings

   Use wax on a stable and easy-to-clean surface.
   DO NOT wax over sunburned skin, moles, cuts, abrasions, varicose veins, or new scars, unless using on an enemy.
   DO NOT let wax come in contact with open flames, unless waxing an enemy. HOT WAX IS EXTREMELY FLAMMABLE. -actually, as a long-chain hydrocarbon you'll have trouble getting it to ignite, it's the vapors that would be flammable.
   DO NOT overheat or allow wax to boil, unless using on an enemy. OVERHEATED OR BOILED WAX CAN CAUSE SEVERE BURNS.
   ALWAYS TEMPERATURE TEST WAX ON A TENDER SPOT OF AN ENEMY PRIOR TO USE.
   DO NOT lift heated mug by sides - ALWAYS USE THE HANDLE.
   DO NOT use cup for drinking, unless offering a beverage to an enemy.